Over a year after its release, singer/songwriter Luke Rainsford's EP "I Just Don't Deserve To Be Loved" is still is as moving, important and emotional as ever. Through raw and expressive vocals coupled with sorrowful lyrics - documenting struggles with loss, love and mental health - Rainsford is able to create something with a lasting effect that will, whether it be the first or thousandth listen, never fail to radiate pure and honest emotion.
"Looking For Your Ghost" is the first track on the EP and the first song that was written for this project, it's an incredibly beautiful and personal tale of loss. Gentle vocal melodies layered over chords that almost sound too happy contrast with the vulnerable lyrics and reflect on a time where Luke feels as if he "Didn't function as a human very well". Much like the other songs on "I Just Don't Deserve To Be Loved" it shows off Luke's impressive songwriting ability and truly sets the tone for the profoundly meaningful lyricism that runs through the heart of the EP. Gentle repeats of "I wear myself out, but only let you down" echo softly as they lead into the next proclamation of self-deprecation.
A just under two-minute song titled "I Can't Keep My Promises", which opens with a pleasant acoustic riff before introducing Lukes vocals, full of pain and heartbreak as he sings "You told me to be strong, but I just can't". It may be short, but it is grief-stricken and haunting, with the final words of "You're the reason why I do this" stuck echoing in your head, something you think about long after the track has finished - much like the events of a funeral, as Luke so sorrowfully sings about attending.
A ringing chord that finishes the track morphs slowly into "An Open Letter", a personal favourite of mine. It is packed with harmonies and composed in such a stunning way, a true representation of Luke Rainsford's incredible songwriting and vocal ability. The lyricism on this song is nothing short of incredible, I am constantly in awe of the complete raw honestly that Luke channels so well in everything he does and it is so poignant on this track. Pure cries of frustration are turned into compelling and passionate melodies in such a special way and the ending cry of "There's not a god, there can't be" is an unforgettable insight into grief, and how hard it can be.
"Sweet Briar" was the debut single from the EP, and is a perfectly catchy and upbeat impression of places, people and the deeper meanings they can have. Luke speaks about how he's "Always got very attached to the idea that a place can hold so many new meanings based on things that happen" - an idea that has been deeply rooted in his music ever since as far back as his debut album. This song is a very charming one, appealing and lively and acts as a break from the so far darker tones (Although it does feature a more pessimistic ending because; would it really be a Luke Rainsford song if it had a happy ending?)
Penultimate song "What I Can't Believe" throws us straight back into the gloom that we have come to know from Luke and it is possibly one of the darkest songs on the EP. A picture of hopelessness, feeling like "a stranger in your own skin". It's upsetting and it's emotional and lingering lyrics of grief and mental illness make it almost an uncomfortable listen, but it works in the best way.
"What I Hide Beneath" is an easy song to be fooled by - opening with positive lyrics and imagery paint this as a better period in the life of this songwriter, a time of feeling better - but it becomes painfully clear that this positivity is forced when the song breaks down into a much darker feel.
Luke states that "This song is about times where I lie to myself that I'm fine - rather than actually trying to help myself", Something that many people who struggle with mental health can be found guilty of at times, which is what makes it such a significant track and, coupled with a beautiful outro riff, a perfect close.
The sheer emotion and impact of "I Just Don't Deserve To Be Loved" makes it some of my favourite music ever written, and its ability to leave such a long-lasting and significant effect is something Luke Rainsford is so brilliantly good at. This EP is so incredibly important and I urge everyone to give it their time, as I am sure that you will also be blown away by Luke's ability to not only play guitar strings but heartstrings also.
No comments